Mandy Oaklander | September 23, 2026

I've always worn a size 8 shoe—until one day, some kids and grey hairs later, I suddenly fit better into an 8.5.

I'm not the only one. In her new piece for TIME, Erica Sweeney explores how and why your shoe size can change as you age, even if your feet feel the same as ever.

TODAY’S TOPICS

Grieving gradually
What to know before starting a mental-health drug
Got a question for us?
An urgent shortage of platelet donors

QUICK CHAT

What is “drip grief”?

Near the end of my interview with caregiving expert Sue Ryan for my recent piece on caregiver stress, she used a phrase I’d never heard before: “drip grief.” Unlike the grief that follows a sudden loss, it arrives little by little as someone you love changes—and pieces of the life you shared disappear.

Ryan experienced it repeatedly while caring for family members with serious illnesses, including her husband, who had Alzheimer’s disease. —Angela Haupt, Editor, Health & Wellness

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Photo-Illustration by TIME (Source Image: blackCAT/Getty Images)

What is “drip grief”?

It’s grief that happens a little bit every day when you’re caring for someone over a period of time, especially when they have a significant diagnosis. It’s realizing, “Well, we’re never going to be able to do this again,” or “This isn’t going to be part of our lives anymore.” It’s the little things that go away a little bit at a time.

How is that different from the grief we usually think about?

If your loved one were here today and suddenly gone tomorrow, that would be significant, instantaneous grief. Drip grief is different because the losses happen gradually. But both are real grief, and both are important to process.

Do people always realize they’re grieving while it’s happening?

Not necessarily. That’s why I think it’s important to honor that you’re constantly in a little bit of grief about things. Choose to acknowledge it. Talk to other people about it, because what you’re experiencing is real.

What have your caregiving experiences taught you about dealing with difficult emotions?

We’re meant to have every single emotion in our lives. We’re not supposed to be filled with joy all the time. We’re not supposed to be in grief all the time, and we’re not supposed to be angry all the time. Acknowledge the emotion, and then decide what you want to do with it so you don’t stay stuck there.

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TIME TO TALK

What to ask before starting a mental-health medication

Photo-Illustration by TIME (Source Image: MoMo Productions/Getty Images)

Starting a new mental-health medication can feel hopeful, daunting, or both, Stacey Colino recently wrote for TIME. Will it help? How long will that take? What if the side effects are worse than the symptoms you’re trying to treat? Asking a few questions up front can help you leave the appointment with realistic expectations—and a plan. —A.H.

Ask what success should look like

Start with: “Why do you think this particular medication is right for me?” Ask which symptoms it’s meant to improve, how it works, and how soon you might notice a difference. Some medications act quickly; antidepressants, on the other hand, can take four to eight weeks to reach their full effect. It’s also helpful to know whether the goal is for your symptoms to disappear—or simply become less intense and easier to manage.

Prepare for what-ifs

Find out which side effects are common, how long they typically last, and which ones should prompt a call to your doctor or immediate care. Ask about possible interactions with your other medications, supplements, alcohol, or marijuana—whatever applies. Then cover the practical questions: What should you do if you miss a dose? How long might you need to take the medication?

A new prescription shouldn’t send you on a scavenger hunt for crucial information. Before you leave, make sure you know what to expect—and whom to contact if something doesn’t feel right.

PLEASE ADVISE

Ask the health team

Have a burning health or wellness question? Wondering how to handle a tricky social situation? Please write to healthmatters@time.com, and we’ll weigh in weekly in the newsletter.

WHAT WE’RE READING

Robert Glatter and Peter Papadakos, both physicians, recently wrote for TIME about the importance of platelet donors.
As nursing homes continue to close, analysts worry there won’t be enough beds for all the aging Americans who will need them, Paula Span writes for KFF Health News.
Vaginal estrogen may help protect postmenopausal women with recurring UTIs from life-threatening complications, writes Laura Trujillo for USA Today.